Best year ever

Yeah, I'll say it: 2008 was my best year. After we got over the initial hiccup of NYE '08 (Ted Grigsby, it's taken all of forgiveness to come to grips with your Uptown Billiards call at this time last year), things went pretty darned well.

And I'm not just talking about runs ins with my celeb crush,
And I'm not just talking about the euphoria of a beyond improbable ALCS game 5 Red Sox come-from-behind win,
And I'm not just talking about a top three Halloween costume,
Nor am I specifically referring to half-marathons and 5ks dressed like Magnum PI,
Or weddings where the groom and I sang "Don't Stop Believing",
Or even turning from "Mike" to "Master Pacchione,"

Though that was a clever way of summarizing the year.

Instead, I think the year was just great on a day to day level. I didn't keep track but I'm guessing I felt at least a medium degree of happiness on 93% of the days in 2008. That's pretty darned good. So as much as we (or at least I) feel like we need to have specific accomplishments to identify why this was my best year, in the end it was a good year because of all the people in it. And because I've changed into someone who actually likes things.

Let's hope 2009 doesn't suck.

Only in Portland

Click here for details. I challenge you to find another town where the intruder would "dress" as he did. Ah but his last name is the icing on the cake.

Areas of life in which my computer is more enthusiastic than me

Succesfully logging into the network

Lost

Every year my brother and I roll through an entire season of Lost in 2-3 days, which means we're spending a solid 35% of our waking hours in front of the TV. It's my favorite Christmas tradition.

Thing is, since my parents' TV has a horrendous glare, we really can't start watching until after sundown. Even then, we tend to wait until after my parents have gone to bed, simply so we're not keeping them awake with pet theories on why that one Other doesn't age, whether Jack is the all-time worst leader, etc.

Anyway, problem with this is that we stay up until 5 or 6 AM, our house is freezing -- I mean, you literally have to wear two layers of socks at that hour; I'm half expecting Bear Grylls to do a Man vs. Wild episode on surviving the Pacchione TV room -- and, since Lost is easily the most terrifying TV show ever, I spend half my time looking out the window, expecting some barbaric villain to break in the house.

All of which is a long way of saying two things:

1. We're about to start season 4; and

2. If I am killed tonight and this is my last ever post, you should know that, upon seeing the burglar break into my parents' house, my last thoughts were not those of panic. Instead, they'll be something along the lines of "finally. What took you so long?"

Classic flawed logic

"Well, if I go to bed at 3:30, that's really only 12:30 West Coast time. So I'm really just keeping my body on schedule."

This year's lyrical overanalysis

Ever listen to the lyrics of "White Christmas" and wonder why the singer longs for a white Christmas, like the ones he used to know? Why does he no longer have white Christmii?

My theory: 

This song was about global warming. Writer Irving Berlin was just a man ahead of his time. He's a visionary, really.

The slow sound of a computer loading

I'd forgotten how privileged I am to have a Mac and live out a house with super-duper high speed internet.

At the moment, I'm at my parents house in Wyndmoor, with the PC making groaning noises.

With that in mind, I have a feeling I may not post much this week.

I will take time to note how fortunate I was yesterday. My PDX - PHL flight was literally the first one to leave the airport all day (this was an 8:45 flight, mind you). Arriving in Philly after the longest, hottest flight in recent memory, I texted my friend Joy who had been scheduled to leave ten minutes after me...and, 5 1/2 hours later, was still sitting in PDX airport. Yowza.

In case the pain of 5 1/2 hours doesn't sink in, let's try reproducing Joy's text to me:

We boarded. Sat. Got off. Got on. Sat in 900 degree weather for 2 1/2 hours and are now possibly leaving. I trust no one.

And on that note...Merry Christmas everyone (exclamation point)

Richmond wins! Exclamation point!

And to commemorate the occasion, here's the actual text of the celebratory email from the Richmond alumni chair:

Dear Richmond Spider,

We are UR.

Go Spiders!

Tripp Perrin, ’95
President
University of Richmond Alumni Association

Feeling inspired yet?

Seriously, Tripp Perrin had the whole second half to devise a celebratory email and he came up with a declarative statement, followed by a call to root for a team that just won???

Very cool experience though. Can't believe that school I attended just won a national championship. A few thoughts from tonight:

1. How on earth is Richmond attracting guys like Lawrence Sidbury and Josh Vaughan? Did we finally start paying our recruits or what?

2. When the Montana: Richmond fan ratio is 50:1 and you're the 1, you have to choose your rooting strategy carefully. Do you go full on fan from the first minute, exposing yourself to 3 hours of potential abuse? I decided to take that gamble. Thanks to Richmond for rewarding me.

3. Best moment of the night: taking my victory lap after Montana failed to convert with under four minutes left, then having a Montana fan launch the coveted "F^ck you Richmond! Go home!" assault in my direction. I was waiting for that all night.
3a. Second best moment was a Montana fan congratulating me, then, seeing as I didn't have a beer, telling me I should drink from his.

Finally, remember that bit from earlier today about how upon graduating, I'd vowed to never give another cent to the university? I think I can make an exception to buy a new Richmond t-shirt. This intramural champion one is a bit ratty.

Text message from my friend Charles re: Richmond

"re-living The Catch?"

What Charles is referencing is my two point conversion reception to put us up 14-6 (the eventual final score) in our intramural championship game during senior year.

Why "The Catch"? Two reasons, primarily:
1. This was pretty much the only championship Charles or myself ever won, so we need to dramatize things as much as possible; and
2. Each of us describe the pass in much the same way: in one fluid motion, the rare moment when, as a player there is no thought running through your head, no sense of doubt or impending "don't screw up, don't screw up, don't screw up" sense of doom. From QB (Charles) to receiver (me), it was one giant instinct. This must be what it must feel like to be a real athlete.

Yeah, I'm re-living old war stories right now. Work with me here. I don't get to do this too often.

Go Spiders Go (exclamation point)

During one of Richmond's innumerable PR pitches to brand themselves as "the ivy league of the South", they were carving "University of Richmond" into the huge granite block by the main Westhampton Way entrance. For some reason they stopped at "University of Rich" one night, which left me and my friend Ted scrambling to finish the job with by spraypainting "kids" on the end. It never happened, but as far as reasons for expulsion go, this would have to rank second behind "dyeing the lake green on St. Patrick's Day."

(note: my college roommates and I still regret not trying to latter)

Why did Ted and I want to graffiti up the sign? Oh, a combination of a million things -- being too middle class kids at a rich school, apparently missing out on the 9000 free button downs you were supposed to receive upon sending in your tuition deposit, everything on campus having the same red brick...you get the idea. Oh yes, and also because we were young and hadn't learned anything about accountability. Maybe you've been there too.

Given the gift of hindsight, I can see where maybe that attitude was a bit ridiculous. This was a good school -- apparently it's ranked #23 in the country now, whatever that means -- where I didn't 100% fit in. That's fine. I doubt if I'd choose to go there again (I mean, just reading the "Spider Power!!!!!!" facebook updates kinda bothers me), but whatever. The important thing -- and I don't know why it's taken three paragraphs to build to this point -- is that the University of Richkids is tonight playing for the national championship of college football (granted, some lesser division about which no one else cares. But still).

I'm kind of excited. All my friends here on the West Coast are always pumped about their teams -- Oregon, OSU, USC, Michigan (for some reason I have a lot of Michigan friends). I've always felt a little (completely) left out. For one night, that changes.

It's a weird thing. I still remember completing my senior survey with the words "you can keep the $.42 left on my SpiderCard -- I assure you this is the last money you will ever receive from Michael Giancarlo Pacchione." So dramatic, so young, so into inventing anger. Eight years later, here I am, thinking 100% positive thoughts about the school as they play for the national championship.

And if you don't think I'm wearing my 1999 Intramural Champion T-Shirt today...well, you just don't know me very well

Things I love

Walking around in a Portland snowstorm, no jacket, no gloves, no hat just to prove how tough you are. Because after all, you're from Wyndmoor...or Philadelphia...or Boston...or wherever else, depending on what my mood is.

Thesis conclusion

I still have a few odds and ends to tie up? mend? what's the end of this metaphor?

Anyway, point is I am very close to being finished, close enough to where I can post the conclusion below without feeling like I'm jinxing the whole darned thing.

Mark Railsback, you're going to love the Janey Maloney Franz reference in here. That's just for you pal. Yes, you're being called out on this here blog.

Without further adieu:

To conclude this study, let me begin with an anecdote about its beginning: The impetus for this research occurred as I walked through the downtown Portland and realized my basis for calling my Verizon friend Eileen instead of my Sprint friend Rob was rooted entirely in how it would affect my minutes plan. Verizon to Verizon was free, Verizon to Sprint was not. Thus, I chatted with Eileen.

I could not help but wonder how my cell provider would affect me during my time in Portland, three inconvenient hours time zone difference from my friends back East. Was I really going to allow my choice of cell phone providers to influence the depths of my friendships? Would there be a gendered effect? I began asking these questions of other friends. Eventually I moved beyond the convenience sample of friends and into the larger scale sample presented in this study.

The results of that question were less than groundbreaking. In short, the cell provider has some effect, but nothing statistically significant. The same goes for gender, where men are slightly more likely to be affected by the constraints of their monthly phone plan.

Along the way, however, I did stumble upon what I consider a very important result. Cell phone conversations take place almost everywhere these days. People talk in the car, at the movie theater, at grocery stores, at ballgames, on buses, in the airport and even in the bathroom. Calling phones “ubiquitous” almost seems like an understatement. Yet having completed this study, I now question what gain all this conversation is providing. Even though more than half the college students in this survey use their cell phone for over 500 minutes per month, the effect of all this talk on friendships is almost nothing at all. The effect is minimal to the point where friendships are likely to be just as affected by, say, a stick of butter or a particular passage from The French Lieutenant’s Woman.

So what does this mean? Why is the relationship between minutes and friendship so minimal? It would be one thing if the survey participants were older. The business world, for instance, is chock full of people burning up their minutes on conversations other than with friends. The fact that the survey involved college students, however, is what stands out as so impactful. These are people whose phone calls will be largely socially-motivated rather than about business. Yet all these phone calls are not helping develop friendships. Depending on your mindset, this can mean any of a few different things.

It is possible that the minimal effect is because most conversations are short and meant to arrange things (e.g. meeting for dinner). If this is the case, the effect is minimal because the conversations themselves do nothing except schedule a time when the friendship can presumably deepen.

What is also possible (and in my opinion more likely) is that conversations of many lengths take place, and even those of longer duration do little to improve friendships. Is it possible that people are less concerned with what they’re talking about than with what they’re using to communicate? Is it the medium more important than the message? I think of a young person’s culture where computer mediated communication plays a large role. On social networking websites like Facebook and Twitter, users are encouraged to type updates to their network on what they are doing at that very moment (e.g. “Ryan is getting coffee at the coast”). It strikes me that cell phones may be an extension of this “status update” type of communication. Rather than a dialogue where the goal is a deeper friendship, phone calls become a type of two-way monologue, where each person is essentially talking past the other one.

This is where future study would be most helpful. If cell phone conversations truly fall into the “two way monologue” category, this study may be of great importance for future studies on friendship. It is very possible that the cumulative effect of all these cell phone conversations is nothing more than a way for people to feel like they’re becoming better friends without it actually happening.

Poem this kid Erik Lukas wrote back in 7th grade re: snow

Whose dandruff is so grand,
It covers all the land?

Falling out of love with football

I'm not sure when this happened, but I don't care much for the NFL right now.

Is it because we had nice weather on Sundays through early November? And I was easily persuaded by the "I can't waste such a nice day sitting inside" logic?

Is it because there's no thrilling team out there?

Because the Saints never gave me any reason to believe?

Because I can no longer handle NFL announcers?

Because my friend Jon didn't get the Sunday Ticket this year?

Because after four football seasons of being in a town without a team, I'm worn down and prepared for another stage of my life?

Is me growing up? Or is it simply a boring season?

Ways to cross up reporters or transcriptionists

Speak in the third person omniscient all the time. Adding bits like "he said" on to the end of your sentence will force an actual transcription to say "Blathering blatherskite, he said," he said.

That'll teach him.

Bonus points to anyone -- ANYONE -- who can pin down the TV reference from above. Hint: think cartoons

I've said it before, and I'll say it again

You should be able to speed, free of worry, for the first 15 minutes after emerging from a traffic jam

One month until 31

Shoot. I have a lot of work to do.

My friend Kate Wolf...

...Lives in Denver, where her zip code is 80210. Somehow she hasn't spun this into a party theme yet. I mean, come on.

Two people have asked me this in the last 24 hours. I'm afraid I don't have an answer

"Why did your younger brother (Massimo) get the cool name and you got boring old Michael?"

...And down the stretch I come

If you look at the header of this here blog you'll see where it's meant to partially be about graduate school. I started it nearly two years ago when I had a lot of time on my hands and many thoughts running through my head. In other words, I started it when I was in grad school.

Well folks, I'm happy to say we're finally coming down the home stretch. I was meant to finish in August of 2007 before accidentally becoming employed and ceasing to pay attention to my thesis. I'm happy to report that my advisor has read the thing over and we're 99% done right now.

It would be pretty boring to reproduce the whole thing here, but the intro and conclusion might actually be interesting. For today, here is the intro. Note the pop culture references that I tried desperately to sneak in but which my advisor feels are too obscure for someone reading this 20 years in the future. As if by then people will no longer remember where Zack and and AC and Kelly Kapowski hung out. Pshaw.

Anyway, here it is:

A Google search for “friends” yields some 677,000,000 results, including the popular NBC sitcom, the name of a 1968 Beach Boys album, and a Quaker website (“the Religious society of friends”). In our society friends are accepted as an important factor in people’s lives, especially in childhood and adolescence. Those without friends are made fun of, chastised for their apparent lack of sociality. Those with friends cherish their childhood/adolescent memories forever.

It used to be that these cherished memories were of the activity-based, Stand By Me variety, where a group of friends bond together in an outdoor adventure. For today’s youth, friendship takes place in a number of different circles. Nearly one-third of 8- to 18-year-olds in the United States have a computer in their room, for example, and its average use is over an hour per day. Similarly, 39% have their own cell phone, with daily talk time averaging close to an hour per day (Kaiser Family Study, 2005).

Simply put, today’s adolescents have a greater number of avenues in which to explore friendships. Certain friends will be met online, while existing friendships will develop through video games, watching seven different HBO channels and talking on the phone. It is this last example (talking on the phone) that this research proposal seeks to study.

Whereas previous generations were at the mercy of pre-arranged plans (“meet me at The Max at 4:00”) or having to share phone lines with family members, the cell phone has afforded adolescents unprecedented freedoms. Now adolescents can make calls without their parents ever knowing who their friends are. With this being the case, a degree of emancipation is taking place even before adolescents move out of the home.

Without a doubt, cell phones are changing the way people live their lives down to the way they interact with friends. No longer is it necessary to for people to be at home in order to talk on the phone. Instead cell phone owners can almost always be reached, regardless of location. With local calls costing the same as long distance calls, cell phones have also changed the need for proximity in a friendship. It is easier than ever to have a phone conversation with someone living thousands of miles away. Cell phone companies have chosen to market to these trends. Besides establishing local and long-distance calls as costing the same (on land line phones, a long distance call costs more) , companies offering free phone calls within the company’s network. For example, Sprint customers are able to call other Sprint customers for free, Verizon to Verizon is free, and so on. The purpose of this proposal, then, is to present an experimental research design examining how friendships are affected by cell phones and cell phone provider plans.

Flawed logic to which you regularly adhere

I made a great list with some friends last night. Examples:

• Eating something bad for you, but "balancing it out" with something good (i.e. vegetables). There's no better way to justify a burger "with onions" or brownies topped with bananas
  
  
• "One time, when I caught every light and no one else was on the road, I made it to work in 12 minutes. Surely I can do that again today," even though it usually takes 15-20
  
  
• "If I set my alarm clock ten minutes fast, I'll fool myself into being early every single day." Yup. No way I'd ever adjust to knowing it's ten minutes fast.
  
  
• "Yeah, this sandwich is ridiculously overpriced at $9 but would I pay nine dollars to not be hungry right now? I sure would."
  

This is what happens when your college nickname was "Murph"

Your friend, scrolling to find "Mom and Dad" in their phonebook, accidentally goes one entry too far and calls you...to say that she is in labor (!)
...and on the way to the hospital
...and you're the first person she's called
...and wow, this is awkward, we haven't talked in months, how are you?

It was kinda wonderful. Congratulations Wesley Griffin -- three children by the age of 31. Not bad, my friend, not bad.