Best of the decade

Nah, I'll do this later. Btw, the decade should actually run from 2001 to 2010. Just saying.

Some things

1. Every time I come back to Wyndmoor I feel this weird in-between stage where I wish I still lived here but also know I would forever feel like I shouldn't live here. Might not make sense to you, but it does to me.

2. Major upset of the week: I'm in my fourth day here and still haven't pulled a nap on my parents' legendarily comfortable couch

3. I have far too many friends to realistically remain in touch with and wish there was some way to move everyone to an island so we could all hang out and I could introduce friends from high school to friends from college to friends from Boston to friends who started as friends of friends.

(Note: this island would have showers. I can't handle not showering)

Lastly, I spent my formative years in a house without cable TV. Now my parents have something like 800 channels (not an exaggeration). So when you hear I'm watching Eagle Eye at 4 in the morning, it's not so much a demonstration of sloth as it is making up for lost time.

Hackage

You'll see in the below post where I'm moving to Houston. This is actually not true.

It is, however, very funny.

I'm trying to figure out who is behind this. At first I assumed a legit hacker, someone who would link to a porn site or something similar. Instead it links to a Houston Area Dog Whisperer. I'm telling you, high comedy.

As best I can tell, whoever did this must have either
A) Known my password;
B) Known how to hack into my account; or
C) Been using a computer where I'd left my gmail open

Let's break this down:
To my knowledge the only person with whom I've shared my password is my friend Jean. I just felt like someone should have access to my email in case something happened to me. Alas, I don't think Jean really stored that info; every once in a while I'll text the password to her (just to check in) only to receive a "what does this mean?" reply. So I think she's out. Lesson learned: don't make your password holder a mother with a six month old.

I don't know much about computer hacking (though it did look really cool in Swordfish) but imagine it's difficult to hack into someone's computer when it ceases to function altogether. Mine hasn't worked in a month. You can't get all my stored passwords and cookies when the computer doesn't work, right?

This leaves us with only the third possibility: I left my gmail up and running on someone else's computer. Using someone else's computer wouldn't be enough, though; the person would have to know that you log into your blog using your gmail account. Other than my work computer, the only one I can recall using of late is that of my roommate Josh. On paper, Josh is not a likely candidate. He's polite, he has a servant's heart and I've never known him to be a prankster (though I do think he's invincible).

Honestly, my list of suspects would point elsewhere: Karyn Serface. Joy. Shannon Hannon. Winona the Famous Fashion Blogger. But a good detective doesn't just blindly shoot bullets into the dark. He looks at the evidence, draws up what a suspect should look like, and proceeds from there. Trust me: I read Batman comics for years. I know these things.

Josh Chang, fess up.

A new dawn

If you already didn't know, I'm moving to Houston for a little bit.
Mostly for a mentorship program.
New career can be found here.

Evites: A How-To Guide

My roommates and I are having a Christmas party this Friday. As per Generation X rules we sent an invitation out via evite.

As usual, many a potential guest has chosen to be non-responsive. This always amazes me. Evite actually has a "maybe" option and people can't even commit to that?

Anyway, I was in an obnoxious mood so I sent out the following to everyone on the "not yet replied" list...oh, and by the way, yes, it's true the party organizer can see if you have viewed the invitation or not.

Friends,
It would help us to know how many people will be in attendance for Friday’s party. If you’re receiving this email it’s because you’re in the “not yet replied” category. As one who used to set up residence in that camp, I know what you’re going through. You’re likely falling into one of three categories:

1. The “this way I can pretend I never received the evite” category. Problem here is that evite actually allows the organizer (me) to see when you looked at the invitation. So I know that Molly Pearl viewed it on Monday and Cassidy Levy did so on Saturday, November 28th. Shake down, break down, you’re busted.

2. The “I won’t reply to evites” category. Listen, no one is more versed at taking pointless principled stands than I am (note my view on exclamation points, tucking in my shirt, never eating at mall chain Italian restaurants without vowels between the S and b). With that said, all we’re asking you to do is click “yes”, “no” or “maybe.” Let the hatred die, man. When you don’t forgive, you’re allowing the person/evite to cling to your heart for the rest of your life. Is that the battle you wish to fight?

3. The “truly uncommitted” category. Okay, here’s the deal: we’re two days before the party. At this point, you should have a pretty good idea if the cool people are going. If you’re still hemming and hawing, please email Trevor O'Neal (tro800@gmail.com) for a rundown on who the cool kids are.

Of course, there’s one more possibility: you’re in the “I don’t know what to write” category. Being a savvy evite respondent myself I can lend some advice.

Option 1: Simply reply sans comment. Boring but still better than writing “I’ll be there!!!!!!!!!!!!” or “Save a drink for meeeeeee!!!!”

Option 2: Go with a movie quote. It’s fairly nonsensical but popular at the same time. A timely placed “Rodents of unusual size? I don’t believe they exist” can go a long way

Option 3: Delegate responsibility for your decision. A personal favorite. Instead of committing, simply put someone else in charge for deciding if you’ll be in attendance. Should take the form of “only if Todd Hammer goes” or something similar.

Um…regardless of what your situation is, let us know if you’re coming so we can plan accordingly. Thanks.

2010

Is going to be my year. I'm so excited for this.

More semi-famous Mike friends

Czech it -- my old friend (and Springfield High School alumnus) Bruce featured in a holiday commercial. Honestly, it took a few seconds for it to register that this was a commercial -- Bruce and I used to Christmas Carol back in the day and I guess I subconsciously flashed back to knocking on the front doors of South Fairview Road before realizing the true nature of what I was seeing: commerical for a mega-corporation.

Anyway, he's the curly blonde-haired kid with the beard. And yes, I did used to yell "Peeeeeeeeeeeeeerrrrrrrrrmmm" at him in middle school before we became friends

My students are baiting me

Actual end of term email from Student X:

Hi Prof. Pacchione,
I talked to you after class yesterday about possibly sending my grades in early, however I talked to the school of business, and they said that it doesn't matter until the final grades are posted, so don't worry about sending anything in early.
Thank you for the term!!!!!!!! <-that means that there is 8x enthusiasm

I Never Stopped Believing

If you go on espn.com right now, the headline will tell you the Saints "needed overtime" to beat the Redskins. Needed overtime? How about "miraculously found a way to win in a game where their secondary was exposed, they couldn't tackle anyone, couldn't generate a pass rush, couldn't run the ball, and were totally outplayed"?

I don't even know where to start. With my collapse at the bar after the GW field goal? With the number of typos in my texts because my hand was shaking too much to properly press buttons? With the amount of wind-up high fives between me and my friend Jason (two of the more controlled sports fans around)? Should I flashback to all the years of inept QBs, coaches and general teams that would have been on the other end of this game?

I think I've settled on this:
Even when "we" were down seven, the Redskins about to kick a chip shot field goal to wrap up the game...I believed. It wasn't false belief either -- the kind where you're saying "anything can happen" but inside you know you're toast. This was a genuine belief in my team. God, it felt good. The greatest moments in my life have been those where I believed despite the laws of probability fighting against me. Might be something to remember.

Thanks, Saints, for giving me something to believe in

(and thanks, refs, for that questionable OT fumble ruling)

Giddyup

The gushing, the "these guys are the real deal" articles, the #1 ranking in those silly sports writer power polls...I'll take all of it. 11-0, my friends