How to announce your pregancy on Facebook

(and now to completely disregard everything I wrote in my previous post)

My friend Lisa is pregnant, and has been for a while. Recently she asked me how she should break this to the Facebook world.

(Note: This did not really happen)

Here’s what I came up with:

Option one: The Jason Tol method
Months ago my friend Jason implored his wife to just update her profile with a one word “pregnant” status. Not bad. Also not awkward enough for my taste.
(and for those who know his wife Steph…let’s just say manipulation isn’t her first instinct)

Option two: The progressive beg for awkwardness
My personal favorite. The idea here is that you update your Facebook status with awkward updates over a period of several weeks, to the point where you’re begging someone to awkwardly throw out an “are you pregnant?” question. So week one says something like “Lisa is very hungry.” Then “Lisa is nauseous.” Then “Lisa has abdominal pain.” You get the idea.

Option three: The beg for sympathy
Similar to the above, but the focus is on begging for compliments. So, “Lisa feels fat” and “Lisa’s pants no longer fit.” It’s every bit as awkward (possibly even more so) but risks people thinking you’re actually being serious. Be prepared for a disproportionate amount of encouraging “you’re not fat Lisa!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!” responses.

Good luck with whatever option you prefer, Lisa. Don’t be afraid to status us that “Lisa is craving bouillabaisse flavored chocolate.”