(Thank you American Marriage Ministries for your lax approval process)
It's really a privileged thing to stand in a holy place and pronounce two friends husband and wife. Below is my homily for the wedding of my friends Sara and Jordan, from September 4th in Littleton, Colorado:
Sara, Jordan
Jordan, Sara
Jordan and Sara, everyone else (motion to the crowd)
Before you are people who have supported you, loved you, seen you in moments both good and bad.
And before you, in the audience are people who will be there for you in life. Some of us will be your best friends, babysitters for your children. Some of us will be able to give you advice. And some of us are going to live so far away it won't be realistic to see you all the time. We'll have to depend on things like email and Skype and Facebook.
And I think that's a good place from which to start this wedding ceremony, as email and Skype and Facebook were the genesis for Sara and Jordan meeting each other in the first place. Or re-meeting each other, anyway. As the story goes, they knew each other a little bit in high school, found each other again on Facebook, then had their relationship progress through email, Skype and a million other technologies that didn't exist even five years ago. It all started with Facebook.
If there's anyone left in the world who doesn't know about this website, a quick initiation:
You sign up for the site
You get your own page.
On this page, you can tell the world about yourself. So, we can learn about your taste in movies, in books, your political views, your religious views, and so on. You can post photos of yourself, you can post videos of yourself.
There are also status updates, where you tell us what you're doing right now. So Sara could write "I'm having a good day today" and 16 different friends would respond by telling her "that's so great exclamation point" or "you deserve it double exclamation point." If you aren't already on the site, I mean you have no idea what you're missing. It's a whole new world.
Of course, the peak moment in any Facebook user's life is when they have the chance to switch their relationship status. I mean you can barely contain yourself when you get to break the news to the world - "I’M DATING SOMEONE" - and the world is just as excited
Go from "single" to "in a relationship" and you'll have 39 friends commenting. "In a relationship" to "engaged" nets you 74 more enthusiastic "I'm so happy for you!!!!!!!" messages.
And tonight -- tonight is the big night: Switching from "engaged" to "married." Jordan and Sara, you're going to dominate the Facebook world.
It's at this point I should mention this is indeed a Christian wedding.
That has nothing to do with following rules. Or political parties. Or how you were treated by a guy you once knew who went to church.
It has everything to do with a relationship with our Lord Jesus Christ.
I'll say that again: it's about a relationship with our Lord Jesus Christ. It's not about rules or political parties or someone you once knew who went to church. It's about a relationship with the one who Jordan, Sara and myself believe to be the Son of God. It’s pretty crazy to have a relationship with the Son of God. I mean, really, it’s crazy. But all you have to do is sincerely ask.
Speaking of that Son of God, let's take a look at his involvement with weddings. Truthfully, He doesn't tell us a whole lot. He doesn't tell us you have to take communion or walk down the aisle to Pachelbel's Canon or anything like that. That's just not His way. Again, it's not about rules.
But it's not like He disregards weddings as insignificant, either. In fact, His first miracle -- where He turns water into wine -- took place at a wedding. For those wanting to research or follow on your own, this takes place in the Gospel of John, chapter two. Let me read the relevant part of the chapter to you:
On the third day there was a wedding at Cana in Galilee, and the mother of Jesus
was there.
Jesus also was invited to the wedding with his disciples. When the wine ran out, the mother of Jesus said to him, "They have no wine." And Jesus said to her, "Woman, what does this have to do with me? My hour has not yet come." His mother said to the servants, "Do whatever he tells you."
Now there were six stone water jars there for the Jewish rites of purification, each holding twenty or thirty gallons. Jesus said to the servants, "Fill the jars with water." And they filled them up to the brim. And he said to them, "Now draw some out and take it to the master of the feast." So they took it. When the master of the feast tasted the water now become wine, and did not know where it came from (though the servants who had drawn the water knew), the master of the feast called the bridegroom and said to him, "Everyone serves the good wine first, and when people have drunk freely, then the poor wine. But you have kept the good wine until now."
This, the first of his signs, Jesus did at Cana in Galilee, and manifested his glory. And his disciples believed in him.
Did you hear the end of that? At the end of the wedding scene, we hear that Jesus' disciples believed in Him. Now, the word "believe" can be a little tricky here. Let me break it down a little: The Greek word for "believed" is pisteno. The intended definition is not a yes or no "do you believe He lived?" question. That's part of it but the root definition more closely follows the word "entrust"; it more closely resembles a reliance on Jesus in ALL that you do.
Jordan and Sara, this is your wedding day. You're both glowing. Anyone can say they believe on their wedding day. I mean, this is the day you get to switch your Facebook relationship status, right? Anyone can say they believe on that day.
But when you're at the extremes of life, when things are crumbling around you, will you really believe it? That's what Jesus asks us for. It is not "I hope I can believe." It's the belief where you plant your staff in the ground and say I WILL believe. Kind of a tall order but the good news is that no one has more strength than Him. That's why He tells us that His burden is light -- because He is the one doing the heavy lifting.
Jordan and Sara, you love each other. That's great. But it's not enough. Your marriage was designed to run on your love for Christ, on your trust in Christ. That's the relationship He asks for. I don’t know everything, but I know that much.
So celebrate tonight, yes. You should be stoked. You should be euphoric. But celebrate with the knowledge that getting married does not ensure an easy life from here on out. Your work isn't done. It's not time to prop your feet up on the couch and take things easy. Honestly, you have no idea what you're getting into.
Now here's the cool part: when most people hear that, they equate "you have no idea what you're getting yourself into" to something bad - "you have no idea that Jordan doesn’t know the names to all your weird techno songs" or "you have no idea that Sara is going to forget to clean the dishes."
(wait a minute…that’s a terrible example. Sara has lived at our place the past couple months. There is no way she leaves out dirty dishes. We may not know anything about the way your lives are going to progress but if there’s one thing we can count on, it’s that Sara will always remember to clean)
(where was I?)
I'm saying "you have no idea what you're getting yourself into" and I mean it in a really positive way. You have no idea how much you'll grow together and you have no idea how much you're going to love one another. The things you will love most about each other in five years are things you don't even know exist right now. You have no idea what you're getting into - and that is a very good thing.
So tonight, when you run back to your hotel room to change your Facebook status -- "engaged" to "married" YES!!! -- you should be excited. But I'd encourage you to not think of this as the end of growth in your relationship. If anything it's the beginning.
As you go through life,
as you move to different cities,
different continents,
different jobs,
having all kinds of different friends,
as your perspective on life changes and as you advance through all the different things that will happen to you
As you move through all of these things and (looking at Sara) after you’ve eaten all the pomegranates in the world
And (looking at Jordan) after you’ve been perfectly polite to every single person in the world
And far after you've changed your relationship status on this silly website, after all these things, my prayer for you is that your relationship status always stays "in a relationship"
(looking upwards) with Him,
(looking at both of them) and with each other
May you always stay "in a relationship."
(photo courtesy Rouxby Fine Art Photography)
1 comments:
Mike, I have to admit that it's been a long while since I've ready your blog. But damn, you're a good writer! Clever as hell if you ask me. (oh, sorry for the exclamation point back there.) You can do my wedding some day. Maybe.
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