Night Owling

Of the 1500+ channels on my parents Fios television system (yes, the same parents who limited us to channels 3, 6 and 10 growing up), I'm choosing to watch the one that has He-Man and the Masters of the Universe on it (the cartoon version). Some observations:

1. Skelator is waaaaaaaaaaaay less frightening than I remembered. I know that's to be expected since, you know, I'm about 28 years too old to be scared by a cartoon but seriously: you should hear his voice. So nasally.

1a. Having said that, Skelator is also way more jacked than I remember. Seems like a skelaton-based villain should be fairly skinny, but Skelator really hit the weights. Gotta give him credit.

2. Man-at-Arms was Teela's father? I have no recollection of this

3. He-Man's voice sounds a lot like Phil Hartman's

4. "In today's story, I asked my father for permission to do something I wasn't supposed to do." Totally forgot about the post-episode PSA

5. My favorite thing: the complete overuse of people's names. Every single bit of dialogue incorporates a character''s name. So "Trap-Jaw, you're going to have trouble doing that" and "He-Man, we need your help, He-Man"

Eleven month old Lost predictions

Every year on Christmas I receive Lost on DVD, which my brother and I mow through in a 3-4 night period. I believe we set a personal record of watching nine (!) episodes in one night during season two.

Anyway, as the show has grown in popularity it's become more and more difficult to not have the season spoiled by some Josh Chang type. This year was especially challenge; I felt like I was ducking Sawyer/Smoke Monster/Jacob references left and right.

From January through May I basically went into a media fall-out shelter. I didn't use Twitter or Facebook from Tuesday through Thursday. Anyone who mentioned Lost as a favorite TV show had their FB profile hidden. The second anyone mentioned the name "Jack" - even if they were talking about Nicholson - I ran out of the room screaming.

Even after the series ended, though, I couldn't allow myself to grow complacent. Before reading every Bill Simmons article, I either a) had my friend Jason pre-screen for spoilers; or b) searched for the words "Jack", "Sawyer", "Locke", "Lost", "Smoke Monster" and "Hurley" (this saved me on more than one occasion)

The height of my paranoia came during a Bible Study Methods class at my church. Reading through Isaiah, this kid Julyan used the words "it reminds me of the smoke monster from Lost." I cut him off -- "please please PLEASE do not spoil season six for me. I've put a lot of time into avoiding it." Yup, in a church class.

Was he going to ruin season six? Probably not, but I couldn't take that chance.

Today we've made it, folks. Unless one of you runs into my parents house waving a "Hurley is Jacob/Jacob is Hurley" sign, we're probably in the clear to watch without spoilers.

You know I'm a sucker for predictions - even on shows that go in a direction that would be impossible to predict. I'm comfortable with that. I am enlightened.

So here we do, some thoughts and predictions:

• Not everything is going to be answered. I know this from having obsessed over JJ Abrams previous show Alias, reading fans sites and having formed my own theories all for nothing. Especially if you look at its Old Testament allusions...I mean, it's hardly as if everything in the Bible is explained. Specifically, I doubt if the numbers are ever addressed and I can't imagine they ever really explain their version of time travel.
  
  
• Jack and Juliette both die. In truth I think there's a zero percent chance of this happening, but a boy needs something to hope for, right? Actually I think either Desmond or Sawyer will be killed off (which will make me mad because I love both of them). From a credibility standpoint they need to do more than get rid of someone to whom the audience hasn't grown overly attached (Miles, Frank, even Sun or Jin).
  
  
• Ben will make it all the way to the last episode. Alias had a character like him named Sloane -- you kept having these internal debates about whether he's good or not; at the end of the day he's lured in by evil. Re-watching these seasons, it's amazing just how much of the island's chaos has been caused (directly or indirectly) by Ben
  
  
• Everyone who watches the show will be lured into thinking Jack is a great leader, even though the only consistency he shows is to react to everything without two seconds thought. Pretty sure this has already happened but just wanted to put it out there
  
  
• We're trained to think one of two things happened after the nuke from the end of season five -- either they've blown up the island or they've reset to flight 815. Obviously the first won't happen or there would be no show. My guess is the second alternative isn't true either; the Lost people probably have a third option up their sleeve.
  
  
• Claire and Charlie return. Yup, Charlie.
  
  
• More of a thought than prediction, but I'll be really disappointed if Walt and/or Vincent aren't prominently involved. Remember season one when there was all this focus on how weird stuff happened when Walt was around? Or how Jacob's cabin had a painting of what appeared to be a Golden Retriever?
  
  
• Again, more of a thought but...I think we've been trained to assume Jack's dad and Jacob are on the same team. Not sure that's true.
  
  
• My brother would like to add that the season will be focused primarily on the issue of time travel. Also that Sawyer will die because stupid Hollywood will force Jack and Kate together

Okay, that's all. Let's do this